


The Marks You Leave

by WhoGeek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek Blames Himself, Gen, Introspection, M/M, Pre-Slash, for pretty much everthing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoGeek/pseuds/WhoGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek keeps track of every mark on Stiles's skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Marks You Leave

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually supposed to end up in a happy place. But then, my Derek clearly has Issues with letting himself be happy. And he refused to talk any more.
> 
> Also, I was going to include descriptions of several of Stiles's scars (because I know what/where they are) but it didn't quite fit right.
> 
> Many thanks to Shanachie for being awesome and beta-ing for me.

It starts fairly simply; the first time he actually meets Stiles face-to-face he catalogs the moles scattered across pale skin.

It's a habit by now, a way to ensure he remembers a face by focusing on little details. It only takes a couple more encounters before he could accurately describe Scott’s and Stiles's faces from memory. He could also describe their scents and the sound of their hearts if he had to.

Then he gets shot with a wolfsbane bullet and ends up riding around in Stiles's piece-of-shit jeep for hours until they make their way to the animal clinic. The kid smells like _fear-confusion-worry-annoyed_. The worry spikes higher and higher, overwhelming the fear as concern starts creeping in behind the worry. The minutes after Scott shows up are a confusing mix of _relief-panic-worry_ from Stiles.

And he can't help noticing how broad Stiles's hands are. The kid is so skinny, it seems like his hands should be long and thin but his hands are probably bigger than Derek's.

He's not sure if Stiles will even help when he goes to him after the fiasco at the high school. Especially when the Sheriff is standing just on the other side of the bedroom door while Stiles actually covers for his slip. It would be easy enough for him to open the door all the way and let the Sheriff in, but he doesn't. He helps and he loans a shirt. Derek ignores the way his wolf instincts go all sorts of happy at that. He almost absently notes the moles on Stiles's arms and the back of his neck.

So Derek doesn't mean to, it happens so slowly and in such random spurts of knowledge, but he knows every mole on Stiles's skin. Some of that knowledge is from brief glimpses during life-threatening situations, some from the moments after the danger has passed, and some from rare moments of calm vulnerability between them.

Sometime along the way Derek stops seeing Stiles as a grudging ally and starts to see him as part of the Pack. Stiles manages to pull everyone together in a way that Derek couldn't. For a while he almost resents the fact that Stiles has wedged himself in as Second but the Betas listen to him, trust him, and Derek can feel the Pack bonds strengthening.

The first time Stiles is injured in a way that will leave a scar Derek commits the injury to memory, realizing that the scar will obliterate several moles. He makes Stiles show him the scar once the wound heals, tracing the edge of it and noting that one mole has been neatly bisected by the injury. Each of the Betas does some version of the same, reassuring themselves that Stiles is actually fine.

Derek does the same thing every time Stiles is injured, keeping track of each new scar. He does it for the other humans in the Pack each time they get hurt too; Lydia and Danny have scars, too. But Stiles has the most from all the times he throws himself towards danger, or between a hunter's gun and one of the wolves, or into the middle of a spat between members of the Pack.

And Derek sees every scar, every mole erased by injury, as a failure. Testament to his inability to keep his human Second safe and out of danger. His inability to maintain a secure and stable Pack and Territory, because only strong, stable Packs will have a human Second, only a Pack well established and able to easily defend from all external threats.

Stiles is the reason the Pack is strong and cohesive, but he's also a target.

So Derek keeps track of Stiles's moles and the scars that destroy them.


End file.
